Entry: ASPIRE... Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I've got to get my butt back in the gym and eating right.  French fries are not a food group.  I stopped going to the grocery store and started utilizing convenience foods.  Not cool. 

Even if I only go for half an hour on the treadmill in the evenings, I still need to get in there and get something done.  I've officially put on 20 pounds.  I'm on the very high end of normal.  I'm not saying lose weight, but I'm saying stop this five pounds in two weeks nonsense.  I've got three months to go, and should only top out at another 6-10 pounds. 

I know what I have to do.  I just need to stop the excuses and get in there and do it.  Stop using this pregnancy as an excuse, put the skids on junk eating, and get back to being active.  These past two weeks, I've started 'feeling' bad and out of shape.  I know it's my body craving a salad and veggies.  I know it's because I'm drinking more ginger ale than water.  I know it's because I let it go, and I need to get back to doing what I do before I deliver and am left with 35+ pounds to lose and no will power or muscle strength left.  I've got sessions at the hit center.  I need to use them and stop cancelling on my trainer (twice now).  I need to stop utilizing "not enough time" as an excuse and swing by the gym at night on the way home.  Even a little is better than nothing.  I can certainly lift a bit and get some walking done, perhaps a jog if I'm feeling spiffy enough.

Can I just say that I miss pushing my body to its limits?  Being completely out of breath, wanting to puke, red faced, but accomplished.  I miss that.  I can't wait to work my way back to that.  But with this little one in there, I can't push that hard.  His heart beats twice as fast as mine does.  But once he is born, I can ease my way back into training again and losing weight.  I want to race again.  I want to have challenges to look forward to again.  And I want to get in shape in time for the second baby, if that is in our future.  The plan was always if we were going to have children, then we were going to have at least two, and we wanted them at least two years apart.  I can't completely wreck my body and not have enough time to get it back in shape to handle life with a toddler and a second pregnancy. 

I hopped on the scale today and it scared me.  I'm going to get this under control.  I've got to get into the grocery store and buy good-for-me foods and begin working out again.

No excuses.  Being pregnant does not equal a license to get fat.  Not good for me, not good for Gavin.

Phew.  There.  I said it.  It's out there.  Now I have to follow through.


August 26, 2008   01:47 PM PDT
Awww, sweetie. I understand your dismay but please don't be too hard on yourself or push yourself too hard. I have so much faith in you that you're going to do what you need to do for both you and Gavin.

I love you to bits! Keep the faith ... afterall, that's how Gavin got here. =^)
August 26, 2008   01:23 PM PDT
Well, just don't over do it. You know what you need to do and you will get it done, honey.

Just keep in mind that you need to eat healthy for Gavin just as much as for you so this change in diet can be seen as a benefit to the both of you.

And the workouts might lead him to be Mr. Athletic himself. I think once you get yourself back to your next few visits, you'll feel more encouraged to continue on with it.

You've worked so hard and it's okay to take a break sometimes. I know you will get a handle on this. You are so strong and so inspiring. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. I am totally there for you!

And I haven't forgotten about your baby box. I'm going to get something out to you as soon as I can. I promise. :D


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